Today sucked ass. My therapist found out I hadn’t eaten in a week, and he called me this morning and demanded that I eat something. But I wouldn’t. So he came to my house and told me to get in the car, he was going to take me to get a feeding tube. We ended up going back to his office and met my probation officer there, where we discussed whether they were going to send me to jail on probation violation, or send me to the hospital where they would strap me down and force a feeding tube down my throat. I still refused to eat, and told them that if I went to jail I would still refuse meals, so my therapist started the admission process for the hospital. He asked my probation officer what they they were going to do with my cats, and when she said they would have to call animal control, I lost it. Animal control would put them down instead of give them a good home.
So he gave me one final chance: either eat something, or be locked away and forced to eat. So I told them if they brought me something I would eat. And I did. I was brought a veggie sub and I was forced to eat the whole thing while he sat there and watched, and then made me sit there with him so I wouldn’t purge!
Ugh, I was so miserable. I ended up coming home and cutting ( even though he told me not to. But as far as I’m concerned he can suck my big hairy dick). So now my shoulder is still bleeding and I still have sandwich in my stomach and I’m still miserable. Bullshit.
Hopefully I’ll have a better day tomorrow, but definitely a liquid fast ( as much as I can, at least) and laxatives to get this God damn subway out of me. (Sorry for ranting guys.)
Stay skinny, ladies! ❤